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Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) | | Author: Gavin de Becker Publisher: Dell Category: Book
List Price: $15.00 Buy Used: $2.08 as of 7/31/2010 17:35 MDT details You Save: $12.92 (86%)
New (33) Used (72) Collectible (1) from $2.08
Seller: seashellbooks_inc Rating: 123 reviews Sales Rank: 34545
Media: Paperback Pages: 352 Number Of Items: 1 Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.9 Dimensions (in): 9.1 x 6.1 x 1
ISBN: 0440509009 Dewey Decimal Number: 649.1 EAN: 9780440509004 ASIN: 0440509009
Publication Date: May 2000 Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Amazon.com Review Be warned: In many ways this is a terrifying book. It deals with a subject--violence against children--that most of us never want to consider. But, as Gavin de Becker stresses, such situations, though rare, can occur, so all parents must deal with the facts in order to protect their children properly. De Becker's aim is to create awareness of potential dangers and provide parents with the knowledge necessary for prevention and control. As he emphatically states in Protecting the Gift, much of this knowledge is already hard-wired in the form of intuition: "This natural ability is deep, brilliant, powerful. Nature's greatest accomplishment, the human brain, is stunningly efficient when its host is at risk, but when one's child is at risk, it moves to a whole new level, one we can justifiably call miraculous." The trick, he stresses, is trusting and acting on intuition. In this valuable, even necessary, book, he shatters many myths about the typical profiles of regular offenders and the prevalence of such problems as sexual abuse and kidnapping. He also deconstructs the wisdom of traditional maxims such as "Never talk to strangers" and "If you are ever lost, go to a policeman." Without offering a compendium of every conceivable danger, he identifies warning signals and real risks that are often easy to spot once you know what to look for. He offers practical advice on recognizing signs of sexual abuse, choosing a baby sitter or nanny, how to prepare kids for walking to school alone, and how to teach children about potential risks without making them afraid to venture out of the house. And he continually stresses that denial and ignoring intuition are the biggest mistakes that parents make in protecting their kids from those that mean them harm. Well written and infinitely informative, Protecting the Gift affords parents more confidence and less reason for unnecessary worry. --Shawn Carkonen
Product Description
Safety skills for children outside the home Warning signs of sexual abuse How to screen baby-sitters and choose schools Strategies for keeping teenagers safe from violence
All parents face the same challenges when it comes to their children's safety: whom to trust, whom to distrust, what to believe, what to doubt, what to fear, and what not to fear. In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior and author of the monumental bestseller The Gift of Fear, offers practical new steps to enhance children's safety at every age level, giving you the tools you need to allow your kids freedom without losing sleep yourself. With daring and compassion, he shatters the widely held myths about danger and safety and helps parents find some certainty about life's highest-stakes questions:
How can I know a baby-sitter won't turn out to be someone who harms my child? (see page 103) What should I ask child-care professionals when I interview them? (see page 137) What's the best way to prepare my child for walking to school alone? (see page 91) How can my child be safer at school? (see page 175) How can I spot sexual predators? (see page 148) What should I do if my child is lost in public? (see page 86) How can I teach my child about risk without causing too much fear? (see page 98) What must my teenage daughter know in order to be safe? (see page 191) What must my teenage son know in order to be safe? (see page 218) And finally, in the face of all these questions, how can I reduce the worrying? (see page 56)
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| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 123
Protecting The Gift July 25, 2010 Quill My wife and I expect our first child any day now. My wife read this book and many of our dinners were spent talking about the book. There are so many ideas and tips for parents as well as tips for anyone who steps out their front door. I highly recommend this book. Jeremy.
Parents...get this book. April 20, 2010 Tactical Tradecraft (Arizona) Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe and Parents Sane by Gavin de Becker is another excellent book on the protective signal of intuition and how you can use it to remain safe in a dangerous and oftentimes violent world. All of us are born with intuition yet some choose to ignore this early warning alarm designed to alert us to potentially dangerous or lethal situations. We must learn to honor this intuition and realize that it is a protective mechanism that something is wrong.
In this book de Becker goes into detail on how to harness the power of intuition and use it to your benefit and as a tool to protect your children. There are many stories provided to emphasize and demonstrate key points within the book.
Parts of the book that I really thought were beneficial are:
Signals of Denial:
This section of the book talks about why we make excuses for the bad guy or completely stick our head in the sand and refuse to believe that evil exists.
-Rationalization
-Justification
-Minimization
-Excuse-making
-Refusal
Survival Signals
These are techniques that a predator may use to put you at ease so that he can build your trust and confidence.
-Forced Teaming
-Charm and Niceness
-Too Many Details
-Typecasting
-Loan-Sharking
-The Unsolicited Promise
-Discounting the Word "No"
The Test of Twelve - 12 items your kids must know
The chapter on babysitters had excellent information that parents must know before leaving their kids with a sitter. It is absolutely crucial to interview the baby sitter, don't make a decision immediately, and always check reference even if the sitter comes highly recommended from a friend. The same applies when choosing your childs doctor.
There really is an abundance of good information provided by a very qualified expert in the field of violence. For instance, "No" really means "No" and women especially should not begin a negotiation with a person when their answer is "No". In addition, it a girl does not want to date a pushy boy she does NOT owe him an explanation why she doesn't want to date him. Tell him "no" and leave it at that. If he continually calls do not answer the phone, do not return message...the key is no further communication.
The one negative aspect of this book that I do not agree with is de Becker's firm anti-gun stance. Considering his childhood and background I understand his perspective. Gun violence is a huge problem and if you choose to own a firearm for defense then have it properly secured from children, learn how to properly use it, continually practice and periodically attend additional training classes. Responsible firearms ownership is the answer if you own a firearm.
If you have children get this book. I would also highly recommend The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker.
A Must Read April 3, 2010 James T. Hennessey Gavin de Becker provides the reader with facts, anecdotes and recommendations that both surprise and confound the reader. Many times this reviewer said, to himself, "Of course, why didn't I think (realize) that?" From helping us understand why our misguided instructions, like "Don't talk to strangers," often makes our kids less safe, to providing suggestions that make them safer ("Always ask a lady for help") this is must read for parents.
Excellent book! March 9, 2010 horse chestnut Protecting the Gift is an excellent book. I especially appreciated De Becker's description of all the people out there in denial ("the deniers") who aid the child molesters by refusing to see the glaring clues right in front of them. The deniers prefer to have their head in the sand, but that's a surefire way to put your child in danger. Don't be a denier!
A Must for Keeping Children Safe February 2, 2010 E. Kaminski If all caring and well-intentioned adults read this book, we would have far fewer horror stories of terrible things happening to children. This is a book I own and read from time to time to remind myself how to protect my children and how to teach them to be safe without being ridiculously scared. I particularly like de Becker's review of how typical rules about strangers come up short in the real world and signs to watch for that a persuasion predator is at work. Highly recommend to all parents and all those around children.
I read the negative reviews and don't see their points. I have read The Gift of Fear as well and there's enough here to merit another book and I just don't see him promoting himself.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 123
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